This is somehow completely legal (Image: PA)
London has some strange and outdated laws, from not being able to touch a pelican without permission to not being allowed to recklessly slide on ice.
Most of these things you probably haven't even considered doing, and we reckon you wouldn't really get into trouble for doing (although we don't advise you test it out).
Laws on the London Underground are similarly strange, but are things that you might actually have done, oblivious to the fact they're illegal.
We all know that it's against the law to drink - or even have an open container of alcohol - on the London Underground as there are signs everywhere warning us we will be prosecuted.
But what about laws regulating what you're allowed to carry on the tube, or activities that can't take place? We bet you haven't heard of most of these.
To save you a fine or at the very least a telling off, here is a list of everything unexpected that are in the TfL byelaws.
1. You have to queue
The document says a "person directed by a notice to queue or asked to queue by an authorised person shall join the rear of the queue". They definitely need to enforce this more on the Northern line at rush hour.
2. You're not allowed to bring an item that may 'soil' a person or property
The official line classifies this under the 'potentially dangerous items' category. If you spill coffee on my new white skirt I'll become the dangerous item. This is a pretty funny rule when you consider it's written amongst a list also containing a 'loaded weapon' and 'explosive substance'.
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3. You're not allowed on the tube if you're drunk
Well this kind of obliterates the whole point of the Night Tube, doesn't it. Apparently, "No person shall enter, attempt to enter or remain on the railway if he is unfit as a result of being drunk or under the influence of controlled drugs."
4. You're not allowed on if your clothes are dirty
In a clause just below the headline 'unfit condition,' there is a line saying that no person is allowed to enter the railway if they're "in an unfit or improper condition or his clothing may soil or damage any part of the railway". What about if their armpits are unbelievably smelly?
5. No graffiti-ing
"No person shall write, draw, paint or fix anything on the railway". So all those Extinction Rebellion people who have put stickers all over the tube should be fined apparently.
Protesters did worse than just a bit of graffiti (Image: Louise Hatch)
6. No spitting
Remember those disgusting photos of the man brushing his teeth while waiting for a train - including spitting onto the platform? Someone find him and give him a fine.
7. No leaving litter or waste
The clause does say you're allowed to leave rubbish in "receptacles specifically provided for those purposes", otherwise known as a bin. But surely the tradition of leaving the Metro neatly folded behind you is acceptable.
8. No singing
It annoying enough when people are having a loud conversation or blasting their music through headphones, we can't imagine anyone who started to sing would last long before someone told them to shut up.
9. No gambling
Aw, my (literal) Underground gambling ring isn't allowed. Have you ever seen a game of poker taking place on the platform? The clause does make an exception if the gambling has been authorised - what?!
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10. You have to use the escalators properly
The bylaws state that you must not only keep on the right when not walking (it's actually a written rule!) but that you must walk in "in the direction intended for travel". Where's the fun in that?
11. Let people off the train first
Another custom that is actually a bylaw. The classic 'please let passengers off the train before you attempt to board' should be 'Byelaws state no person shall enter through any train door until any person leaving by that door has passed through it". Not quite as catchy.
People who spread their legs while sitting on the Tube, just no(Image: AP)
12. Don't get on the train when the doors are closing
This happens literally hundreds of times a day, and we've all probably done it by accident - or in a rush. The rules state you musn't "enter or leave by the door, force open the door or obstruct the door in any way when it is closing". Start fining for this and make travelling a lot smoother.
13. Don't stand around in areas marked for another gender
Specifically: "No person above the age of ten years shall enter, attempt to enter or remain in any part of the railway which is marked or notified as being for the exclusive use of persons of the opposite gender to that person." But have you ever seen those signs anywhere on the Underground? We're guessing this largely means toilets.
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14. No motor vehicles on the railway
To be honest, we'd be quite impressed if someone managed to get their car or motorbike down onto the platform. This also goes for bicycles or "other conveyance[s]".
15. Animals need their own ticket
If you are wanting to bring your pet onto the tube with you in most cases you have to buy them a ticket. I wonder if they get the adult or child fare - dog years or human years?
Nobody minds there being a pooch on the tube(Image: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)
16. You have to carry animals on the escalators
The only exception is for guide dogs and police dogs. We wonder then how people get their giant huskies onto the train.
17. No use of hoverboards
There's a lot of things you're not allowed to use - bicycles, roller skates, roller blades, scooters, skateboards - but the hoverboards line is our favourite.
18. No flash photography
Sorry Instagram junkies, no flash allowed. But given the harsh lighting on the tube you definitely won't need a flash. You're also not allowed to use a tripod, just in case you wondered.
19. Children have to keep feet off seats
We presume adults are expected to just know this, but the "behaviour code for 5-15-year-olds" has a list of expected behaviours, including "use language that does not cause offence to others", "ensure that you are the only person that can hear your music" and "keep your feet off the seat". We definitely think this should apply to all.
20. You have to be able to carry the luggage you bring
The official rules state that you may only bring on the tube "personal luggage that you are able to carry yourself, including on stairs", so all those people that have to take their huge suitcase down the lift technically aren't allowed it. That would be a major pain if enforced though.
21. You're not allowed anything that is longer than two metres
This is one of the more well-known ones, with people telling stories about protesters being forced to snap their signs. When can see the reasoning though, we don't want to be poked by a long stick.
This article is courtesy of MyLondon: https://www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/london-underground-tube-illegal-laws-17347875
Enjoy!
Kieran Curtis, admin
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